Monday, March 11, 2013

Princess Psychoses - The Scary Behind the Fairy Tale

Last weekend my friends and I got into a discussion about the celebrated Disney princesses. Little girls have long looked up to these royal ladies as the epitome of perfection for years; however, it occurred to us that they’re actually quite far from perfection. Truth be told, just as the real life offspring of royal families have battled diseases like haemophilia, the Disney princesses are chalk full of pathological psychoses and medical maladies.

Take Aurora for example, the famed “Sleeping Beauty”. She pricked her finger and slept for a hundred years . . . and no one thinks it might be a good idea to consult with a physician? I mean, is it possible that she just suffers from narcolepsy and no one bothered to diagnose her? Or perhaps a coma? The same could be said for Snow White, though I tend to think she's got a bad case of catalepsy, a nervous condition which causes rigid muscles, slowing down of body function – such as breathing – and a lack of response to stimulus. So while she may have appeared “dead” to her dwarf friends, it’s quite possible that she merely needed to be treated by an experienced medical team.

Catalepsy: Can cause "death-like"symptoms.
And then there’s Cinderella. The poor girl lost both her parents at an early age and was then raised by a malicious stepmother – is it any wonder that she developed a few mental disorders? Like OCD for example, the cause of her obsessive need to clean. And then there’s the schizophrenia, the mental disorder that makes her hallucinate a pumpkin turning into a carriage and talking mice. No worries there. 

Hmmm, is that normal???
I've long suspected that Rapunzel was merely agoraphobic, using the guise of an evil enchantress locking her away from the world so she could Howard Hughes-it up in her castle. And Ariel – that girl’s got Compulsive Hoarder Syndrome written all over her. And little Miss Alice in Wonderland needs to get her LSD addiction under control. Fast.

That sure is a lot of, uh, "treasures"she's got stored in there ...
But my personal favorite is Belle, the beautiful girl who looked beyond the monstrous features of her prince to the man beneath. Or, you know, developed Stockholm syndrome toward the real life monster that kept her locked up for months and months. Definitely not the “fairy tale” romance young girls should dream about. 


All these fairy tales seem wonderful and romantic on the surface, but cause some serious concerns when you delve a little deeper. Maybe instead of waiting around for their princes to come rescue them, these princesses might have done better to high-tail it to a psychologist. Just a suggestion . . . 


  1. Not to mention the Beast-iality.

  2. Saw a meme the other day of Ariel: "Father wields a mighty trident . . . Amazed by a fork."

  3. I've seen all those movies, but aside from Beauty and the Beast, I'm not sure I can say I recognized the medical/mental issues... but for Bella, yeah, that girl was messed up. I could see that right off.

  4. I agree about Rapunzel being a agoraphobic.

    You's like Disney muted all the scary parts of the fairy tales. Their classics for a reason, Walt! The sad part is its the creepy part I love, but then I'm an adult. least sometimes I am. :)

    I have some children's stores that I've written that have this darker feel to them for kids. I've been told to tone it down, make it less scary. Nope can't do it.

    Great post!

  5. This literally made me laugh out loud! LOL What about Jazemine falling for the "street boy" and riding about on "magic carpets"? And did you know that now Princess Lea is officially a Disney Princess!

  6. Bahahahahaha! I FREAKIN' LOVE YOU, LAUREN!!!

    Seriously. You and your disdain for all things girly (INCLUDING your incredible closet of shoes) is hilarious! One of these days I'm going to get you to watch a chick flick with me. AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!!!

    P.s. So glad you're back to blogging... I've missed you somethin' fierce ( : Hugs from California!

  7. Found you through the Top Ten Movie Countdown Blogfest. I'm just about choking with laughter. :O)