Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Insecure Writer's Support Group

It's the first Wednesday of the month and time for another Insecure Writer's Support Group post. Thanks again to Alex J. Cavanaugh and his wonderful co-hosts for hosting this outlet for writers every month! So here's my insecurity for December . . . 


I’m sorry for my recent absence from blogging. I found out at the beginning of November – right after the last IWSG post in fact – that a friend of mine from college passed away. Death is always hard, especially when someone dies long before their time. But I found this death particularly hard to cope with upon learning that my friend Bethany had been murdered, and that the man responsible for her death was her husband of two months.

It’s times like this when I struggle to keep writing. It’s hard to sit down at a computer or pick up a pen when there are so many other things on my mind. Remembering my friend alive and happy. Wondering if she suffered in the end. And so I simply stopped trying. Of course, I did my best to keep working on my current manuscript. I even made some progress, for which I’m grateful. But I stopped blogging, and I stopped writing in my journal, something which I typically do three or four times a week.

But a month has passed now and my friend and family have encouraged me to try revisiting my old writing routines. In some ways it helps to get it all down and exorcise my sadness via writing. And in other ways it feels like I have to drag each word out in a way I’m not used to. This blog post has taken me easily twice as long as normal to complete.

Perhaps my insecurity for the month isn’t an insecurity so much as a hope that writing will start feeling more natural again – and a fear that it won’t. 

25 comments:

  1. My condolences on your friend's death. I have known several people who have died untimely deaths--they're hard to accept. I've always found refuge in writing. In times of great emotional distress I have dropped all projects and written about the stress, even though it's for my eyes only.

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  2. I am so sorry!! It will come back. Once you start the pattern again, things will fall into place.

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  3. I am so, so sorry for your friend's death. I lost a long-time friend at the beginning of November and I stopped doing pretty much anything that wasn't staring at a wall. I'm slowly getting back into the swing of things now.

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  4. It will if you let it. It's hard going at first because the sadness gets in the way but don't stop trying. We're here for you too.

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  5. My post tomorrow will be my 3rd piece in my death series and it touches on what you mentioned here.

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  6. I am sorry. Thank you for sharing what you've been going through. We have missed you around here.

    Allison (Geek Banter)

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  7. That's horrible news. I just can't comprehend why a veritable newlywed would do such an evil thing.

    Your writing WILL flow again. It doesn't sound to me (and I am not a psychiatrist) as if you are suffering from writer's block but are rather experiencing and working your way through the grief cycle.

    My condolences and express wishes for YOUR renewal and recovery.

    Cheers.

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  8. Sorry to hear of your friend. I had a high school friend murdered and his killer was never caught. It's hard to wrap your mind around the suddeness and violence of it all. Give yourself the necessary time, it will come back. Our minds go into stasis so we can heal

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  9. A tragedy, and my heart goes out to everyone impacted by it. We are glad to have you back, but definitely understand needing a little time.

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  10. Oh, sweetie. That's rough. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I'm glad your back too.

    I mentioned in a post last month. http://minaburrows.blogspot.com/2012/11/oh-i-miss-you-blogfest.html

    If you want I'll do a post about my fav parts of Persuasion or one dedicated to Joss Whedon. That might help. *big hug*

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  11. S.L. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's always hard to lose someone and it never gets easier. Thanks for sharing.

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  12. I am so sorry for your loss, and I can understand how this event haunts you. It is bad enough to read stories like this in the news about strangers. I cannot imagine having it happen to someone you know.

    Maybe you need to take a different tack with your writing -- write about what you're feeling, write about your friend, write your heart. No one ever needs to see it, but maybe it's something you need to do.

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  13. Writing isn't always a priority, use it how you need if you need it, many condolences

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  14. That's intense. Everyone has their own grief period for death, so it come down to a question of if you feel ready again. Good luck.

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  15. Such a tragic end. As everyone else seems to have said already, taking time and returning to normal routines when you feel ready is the only way to cope. Personally, though, I use writing to explore those thoughts - fictionalising real life issues helps me come to terms with horrible things. Take care.

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  16. Sorry to hear about your friend! Sending virtual hugs your way. Sounds like you've got a good support network, and sometimes writing through it helps a lot. Hang in there!

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  17. I am sad for your friend and the unfairness of what she went through. I am very sad for her family -- I know from experience that this is something they will never really recover from. But I am also sad for what you have been going through. Thank you for being so open about your grief. I truly hope that writing will give you some closure. If nothing else, the encouragement from so many other fellow writers has made me feel a little better about the world in general...

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  18. I <3 you, Lauren, dearest. So glad I could see you and help you smile during that tough time. Can't wait for you to get back to blogging!

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  19. My heartfelt prayers go out to you and to your friend's family. For me, writing is a form of therapy, I journal the tough stuff and then write the book as I can. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I hope as time passes you'll find some peace and can write easily again.

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  20. I'm so sorry for your loss. It is tough to maintain a normal schedule when things like that happen. I hope you find some time for writing therapy soon.

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  21. I'm very sorry for your loss.

    I know exactly what you mean about writing when in pain. Something it's just not possible. It'll get better, I think. Eventually you'll want to write again, but until then, it's okay if you're not up to your usual speed.

    Praying for you, your friend's loved ones.

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  22. I am so sorry. I hope you do start writing in your journal again...there is nothing like it for helping to manage the shock and the grief.

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  23. I'd thought I post this for you so that it brings you a smile. This happens to be one of my favorite letters of all time. Ah, Wentworth! *sigh*

    "I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men. Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating, in F. W. "I must go, uncertain of my fate; but I shall return hither, or follow your party, as soon as possible. A word, a look, will be enough to decide whether I enter your father's house this evening or never."

    Austen, Jane (2009-10-04). Persuasion (pp. 155-156). Public Domain Books. Kindle Edition.

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  24. Grieving takes time. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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