Monday, September 19, 2011

The Worst Movies Ever


Alex over at Alex J. Cavanaugh is hosting a bloghop, and though I’ve sworn to take a break from blog contests to focus on own writing, this one was just too good to pass up. It’s the worst movies EVER blogfest:


So here are my entries for the worst movies I’ve ever seen:

Wicker Man – My senior year in college a few friends and I went to see this movie on a sleepy Wednesday night. Though it was by and far the worst thing I’ve ever seen, we’ve never regretted this decision. Not only has it provided YEARS of entertainment, it is now the yardstick by which we compare all bad movies. When I’m warning my friends that some movie I just saw was terrible, the first question they ask is, “Was is Wicker Man bad?”





2012 – For those that missed out on the apocalyptic Wicker Man viewing of 2006, the backup “terrible movie” yardstick is 2012. Though the trailer looked ridiculous, my friends and I went to see it because it was slated as the big blockbuster movie for Summer 2009. All I can say is . . . really?








The Number 23 – So, as previously mentioned, in college my friends and I often ventured to the nearby theater for a mid-week movie (Wednesday nights had promotional discount rates). My friend Jonathan and I were often in charge of picking the movies, and we made the very serious mistake of selecting The Number 23 one week. A decision I’ve had to live with for four years.






Premonition – The last in the Wednesday night college catastrophe series, this movie was terrible. So terrible, my friend Sam promised never to watch a movie Jonathan or I picked out ever again. Not only were there some serious inconsistencies, but the plot itself was ridiculous and boring.







Random Hearts – Last but not least, the film which will be forever remember as the most boring movie of my childhood, Random Hearts. This movie was so bad people were cracking jokes the whole way through (these comedic routines were perhaps the movie’s one saving grace). Unfortunately, my friend Kalina and I weren’t able to fall asleep like the man sitting next to me, though we made a serious attempt.






Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull – The movie that ruined the Indiana Jones franchise. Why George Lucas? Why?










Star Wars Prequel Trilogy (Episode I - III) – See comments for #6. Repeat.










To sum up, don’t go see movies on a Wednesday night. Don’t go see movies with bad trailers purely because they’re labeled “blockbuster hits”. And don’t go see ANYTHING George Lucas wrote, directed or produced after 1990.

23 comments:

  1. Hmm, I'm glad I wasn't the only one who thought Premonition was stupid. Great picks. :)

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  2. A lot of people, myself included, picked "Wicker Man". It is the worst Nick Cage movie ever and that is saying something.

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  3. Rick Staub: "they should have named it Random Farts"

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  4. crying on the inside..
    :)
    i love bad/worst movies, these lists are tough!
    jeremy
    twothumbseightfingers.blogspot.com

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  5. If you think that Wicker Man movie was bad, seethe original ;) Well, actually don't see it.. I wouldn't want the bad karma of recommending it.

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  6. I didn't even finish Premonition, that was horrible.

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  7. Wicker man made my list. And the more I thought about it, the more I disliked the last Indiana Jones movie.
    thanks for participating in the blogfest!

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  8. You hit the nail on the head with all those. There just aren't many good movies anymore. They're either special effects or remakes. There's no originality anymore.

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  9. Great pics! The Number 23 was weird bad.

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  10. Hahaha I had forgotten about The Number 23 and Premonition! They were so bad my brain erased all memory of ever seeing them. :P

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  11. Why is it that a lot of the movies on your "Worst Movies Ever" list happened to make my "Best Movies Ever" list?

    But seriously, I maintain that The Number 23 wasn't THAT bad...was it? And if you have an honorable mention list, The Order has to be there.

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  12. i'm sorry, hammerhead shark man didnt make the list? ill enter this contest with those movies. i could wax poetic about the horrific glory of sci fi movies for days.

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  13. Everyone of them a bad one! Nicholas Cage in The Wicker Man! What the heck were they thinking?

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  14. I thought Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull was good, and a fit in pretty well with the rest of the movies. None of them had very believable plot lines or anything. Agree on the new Star Wars tho, lame.

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  15. I forgot about Crystal Skull. That might have made my list. I was so angry - probably because I had built it up in my mind. I should have known when LeBouf was cast that it was doomed to disappoint.

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  16. Lol, thanks for the tip about watching movies on Wednesdays. :P I think I've only seen one movie on your list (Star Wars Episode I). Lucky me!

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  17. Haha, glad to see just about everyone agrees with my list here. These truly are some of the worst movies ever made.

    Tim - I noticed that. Goes to show what a BAD decision this movie was.

    Laughing Ferret - Sadly, I already have.

    Jonathan - It's your fault I saw half of these movies in the first place. The Number 23 WAS that bad. But I'll give you The Order. Definitely could have made this list too.

    Allie - one of the stipulations was no Sci Fi movies because every one of them could make this list. Otherwise, believe me, Hammerhead would be on here. And the Minotaur one. Such fond fond memories of us watching those classics :)

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  18. Most of those I haven't seen, but I am TOTALLY WITH YOU on 2012, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and Star Wars prequels. Actually, I didn't mind the first Star Wars. Little Ani was cute. Once he grew up a tad... not so much. And seriously. If a movie is going to be about aliens, I WANT TO KNOW BEFORE I WALK INTO THE THEATER. That's not a plot twist that should EVER be used.

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  19. I was completely furious I'd spent almost two hours on my life watching Wicker Man. THE. WORST. EVER.

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  20. I have to admit I'm one of those people who liked the Star Wars Prequels. What can I say? I haven't seen any of the others. heh!

    I LOVE your blog title. Very fun blog!

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  21. Those sound like excellent rules to live by, even though I've seen only (fortunately?) the last two films on your list.

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  22. Please watch the original version of The Wicker Man starring Christopher Lee and Edward Woodward. It's fantastic.

    Dave
    Dave Wrote This

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  23. ^ i think dave said something. i'm not sure though.

    also, bring it on 2-5. especially 3. hayden panittere krumping should never be something my eyes are subjected to.

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