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Wednesday, August 8, 2012

What Was Your Childhood Monster? Blogfest

In honor of the release of her novella, Fearless (click here for more details), author and blogger Christine Rains is hosting a brand new blogfest – the “What was your childhood monster?” blogfest. Click here if you’d like to join and tell us all about the monsters and minions that plagued your adolescence.


As for me, I didn’t have ONE childhood monster. Oh no – I had hundreds of them. I blame this partly on my overactive imagination (both a blessing and a curse to a future writer), and partly on my parents’ eagerness to share with their one and only offspring their love of science fiction films. They called it “my education”, and as an adult I find myself very appreciative. But as a child, it had some unfavorable consequences. Namely, my terror of Poltergeists (and being sucked into a TV), aliens, Predators, T-1000 terminators (I’ll never be able to look at a black and white checkered floor without a sense of panic), killer Great White sharks, vampires, zombies, gremlins, graboids . . .

And the list goes on.

My response to this long list of threats was – apart from spending a lot of time wedged in between my parents in their bed (punishment for letting an eight-year-old watch Aliens and The Terminator) – keeping the doors to all the closets OPEN.

Now I know that’s not the typical reaction. Most of my friends and family have assured me that it’s better to keep the closet door closed so they can’t get out. But anyone who’s ever seen Terminator 2 knows that to the T-1000, a closed door is no real barrier. And really when one thinks about it, a closed door really isn’t much of a challenge to most monsters and/or demonic creatures. So I maintain that it’s better to keep the door open and maintain a visual at all times, thus ensuring that said monsters can never surprise you. If you can see them coming, at least that gives you a fighting chance of getting away, am I right?

Here are a few simply creeds I follow for combating childhood (and present day) monsters:
- Check the perimeter: It’s best to do a full sweep whenever entering a new dwelling, and a second sweep upon entering an empty room.
- Keep closet doors open at all times: Or at least until they’ve been checked thoroughly. Same goes for shower curtains. And if there’s any sort of dust ruffle on the bed that obscures visibility beneath, I’d suggest lifting that up (or removing it entirely) as well.
- Stay in shape: Be prepared to run faster than any monsters that may be hiding inside closets, under beds, etc. Or at least be prepared to run faster than other occupants of the house. Good rule of thumb, never be the slowest person around. That’s like the monster equivalent of being the slowest gazelle in a herd being chased by a lion. Not good.

And always, always, always remember the immortal words of one Mad Eye Moody: “Constant vigilance”.

I hope these tips come to your aid in future battles against any nameless monster-foe in your future. And share with us, what are some of your childhood monsters and/or tips for combating them?

27 comments:

  1. Not only do we share similar taste in books and movies, but we also share a childhood fear of the T-1000. I can still remember the first time I watched the climax of The Terminator, where its skeletal remains crawl out from the flames and wreckage. Needless to say, I didn't sleep particularly well that night.

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    1. God, me neither. I still have nightmares about Terminators. I blame the franchise for my fear of technology.

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  2. Stay in shape - that's why one of the first rules of Zombieland is cardio.
    Graboids - obviously you watched Tremors!

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    1. I don't care what anyone says. Tremors is a classic.

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  3. Thanks for the tips. I will keep them in mind. I always wondered why I hate black and white checkered floors. Now I know. LOL

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  4. So is this why you play soccer? Not only do you develop running skills but kicking skills as well.
    I think I'm scared of you, now.
    :P

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  5. Now if running away from monsters isn't an incentive to get in shape, I don't know what is. :) I mentioned on Alex's blog the scene from Poltergeist with the bodies in the pool but I just remembered the part with the tree...shudder!

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  6. Great tips.. LOL S.L. You are right about the door staying open.
    Oooh, I remember when I was a child while watching tv, I still managed to eye it suspiciously. Just in case it somehow managed to pull me in and swallow me.

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  7. The T-1000 was a great villain. Terrifying.

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  8. Absolutely brilliant post! You're 100% correct--we don't have to run faster than the monster, just faster than any other person / edible around. Loved it!

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  9. For me it was clowns. When I was a kid, someone thought it was a good idea to put a few really really creepy clown pictures on my bedroom wall. after about a week I could stand it no more, yelled to my Grandmother (I lived with my grandparents) to get them out! She put them in the closet... no, that wasn't good enough, I knew they were there- so they had to go completely. Not long after I remember visiting my mom, and she was dating an artist at the time, and he was painting, the canvas on the floor (it was *big*- maybe 7ftx5ft) a clown! Luckily he didn't last for her- I had no trust of that guy from that moment on ;)

    My best survival tip: regardless of any preparation or ability, be the most important person. If you're the 'main character' then you get to live no matter how unlikely... unless you're born into a George R.R.Martin world- then forget it, you're screwed.

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  10. I never have to worry about something lurking under the bed, since it sits directly on the floor. The shower curtain, on the other hand, is the worst place to check. Not only does it stop my heart to sweep the curtain over, but the bathroom is such a small space that, if something were hiding in there, I would turn to run and slam directly into the door. You provided some great tips! Thanks for sharing!

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  11. Constant vigilance--absolutely. Along with being faster than at least one other person. LOL.

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  12. Know your enemy! I love your list of rules. Guess it's a good thing I don't have to worry about real monsters *she types after peering around the corner* I'm not in that great a shape LOL

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  13. Mad Eye knows what he's talking about! Great post. I like that your parents "educated" you in that manner. I took the doors off my closet. I agree that being able to see everything is vital! Thank you for sharing your monsters and tips with us. And for helping promote my novella. :)

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    1. As a child, having the closet door closed was for the best for me.
      But now that I'm an adult? All of our closet doors in the bedrooms are open, or at least ajar. My sons seem to like them open, too, probably for the same logic you provide above. It makes total sense!

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  15. I think the prime reason I survived childhood was my ability to flick the light off and then leap into bed so fast those monsters never had a chance at grabbing my ankles and yanking me under.

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  16. My closet doors make a bit of noise when opened, so I figure I'll keep 'em closed and if any nasties come outta there, maybe the noise'll wake me up and I'll have a few seconds to make a break for it. You know, not that I've given the matter too much thought, or anything.
    Some Dark Romantic

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  17. I love your creeds...hehe I'll take them into account next time I hear a sound in the dark:)

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  18. Always keep a torch near you at all times. Childhood monsters can only survive in darkness and dissipate in the light. If in doubt - shine a light about :)

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  19. Good advice, Ooh but what if the monsters are lying in wait behind the opened closet door?

    What you need is Tawa and Abby...

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  20. Ran across this Terminator picture, and seemed very appropriate for this topic, think you'll like it :)
    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-r3Jhps3yaUA/UCNQ8XvHQYI/AAAAAAABQv0/vZEHKY-R4Rk/s1600/tumblr_m8glaqUVuP1rr18wao1_500.jpg

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  21. I required that my closet doors be closed and my bedroom doors be open. It wasn't until I was married that I became able to close the bedroom door (I needed to see what was beyond it), but I still need my closet doors closed AND I close my kids' closet doors. Can't help it.

    My monster: http://thewarriormuse.blogspot.com/2012/08/childhood-monster-blog-fest.html

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  22. I used to dream of getting chased and caught by monsters on a nightly basis. I would pummel them relentlessly, but they would always get right back up and chase me again. Kind of like Friday the 13th part... um.... shoot. The one where the girl had superpowers and no matter how much she tortured Jason, he kept getting back up.

    That guy is like Rocky Balboa, I mean, he can really take a beating. Just like my dream monsters.

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  23. I didn't have any childhood monsters. I feel so deprived.

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