Rachel Harrie at Rach Writes is hosting a First Campaigner Challenge! The contest is this:
Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “The door swung open” These four words will be included in the word count. If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: "the door swung shut." (also included in the word count)For those who want an even greater challenge, make your story 200 words EXACTLY!
So, with much trepidation (and in EXACTLY 200 words), I've written my own short short story about an opening door. I'm not sure how mine will compare with the other entries, but here goes nothing . . .
I'm registered as number 262. If you enjoy my story, please click "like" to help me win the contest!!
Here's the link: http://rachaelharrie.blogspot.com/2011/09/first-campaigner-challenge.html
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The Blue Door
by S. L. Hennessy
The door swung open – just barely. Just enough for Riley to see a shard of light spilling across the manicured rosebush she currently hid behind in an effort to evade Bobby Flannigan. She sat back, heedless of her white dress but careful to remain out of sight.
What on earth was a door doing in the middle of the garden?
She inched forward.
Was it there before? She hadn’t seen it when she fled the noisy party . . . had she? She couldn’t remember – but with a sudden urgency, she knew she needed to see what lay beyond.
Riley stood, eyes transfixed.
“There you are,” Bobby said from somewhere behind her. “What are you – ?”
But she wasn’t listening. Heart racing, Riley stepped forward and reached for the blue door.
She pushed, and as the door swung open light flooded into the night, wrapping around her. Anticipation shimmered in the air and the world went quiet as she stepped through the wooden frame, leaving Bobby and the twilight garden behind her. When her eyes lit on the world before her, Riley knew her life would never be the same.
Her laughter echoed behind her as the door swung shut.
makes you really want to know what is beyond the blue door. well done.
ReplyDeleteOoooo!! What happens next?! Lovely writing, girlie!
ReplyDeleteP.s. I "liked" you ( :
Oh, her very own secret garden! I really liked this - solid imagery in so few words. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis is great! Love the secret garden and hiding from Bobby Flanagan. Really smooth writing!
ReplyDeleteWait, you can't stop there! Lovely imagery, and I can definitely see this as the start of a longer story.
ReplyDeleteA very awesome story. I want to walk through a door into another world. Great job!
ReplyDeleteLove it:) I want a Blue Door...
ReplyDeleteVery alice in Wonderland. nice job. Mine is #72
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone for the amazing responses! It’s interesting what you don’t see about your own work. I wasn’t even thinking about The Secret Garden when I wrote it – though I see the parallels now that Erin and Sarah pointed it out! Thanks ladies! And Bridget, LOVE the Alice in Wonderland reference (it’s my favorite book).
ReplyDeleteMy original intent was a Wonderland/Narnia kind of vibe where the door transports you elsewhere, but I like that it led to multiple readings!! And Jocelyn, I definitely see this as a beginning of a longer piece :)
Thanks so much for reading – makes me so glad I entered the contest to get all these wonderful responses!
this is awesome. So glad I stopped by. I really liked your style and you left me wanting to know more :)
ReplyDeleteOh, I love it! "Liking" your story. Thanks for stopping by my creepy story.
ReplyDeleteThe Blue Door has a true Narnia feel, nice touch!
Holey Moley, we're practically neighbors! I live in Brenham, just a hop, skip and a bowl of ice-cream away from you. I'm a member of Brazos Valley SCBWI. Write children's - Adult non-fic (mostly gardening related), and currently reading the Max Brooks' Zombie survival guide! Nice to meet you:)
ReplyDeleteI loved this one. Great writing! I could picture it all. I want to know more :) Thanks for visiting my blog!
ReplyDeleteThe imagery made me feel as I were the one opening the door. I kinda wish this wasn't "flash fiction" because I NEED to know what is beyond that door. Thanks for stopping by my blog! XO
ReplyDeletei liked it. one of those 'what happens next?' ones. good job making us wonder.......no, really, what happens next? And is Bobby cute? I guess not seeing that she ditched him for the door
ReplyDeleteThis was cool, it reminded me of Alice in Wonderland. Very mysterious, I wonder what's behind the door.
ReplyDeleteI love portal stories. What a great beginning.
ReplyDeleteA little Alice in Wonderland with a modern twist. Very nice.
ReplyDeleteGreat imagery. What's behind the door?!
ReplyDeleteI really liked this! It completely hooked me, and made me wonder what exactly is behind that blue door. Ah, secret garden doors... :)
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone for even MORE amazing feedback! I really do see this as the beginning of something longer so - I think I'm going to work on it some in between edits to my other manuscript. Yay for flash fiction stories, their expansion, and new blogging buddies :)
ReplyDeleteOh! Anticipation isn't just in the air...it's in me! Are you going to follow this up?? Where is she going! LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!
ReplyDeleteOooh, very cool. Creepy door in the middle of the garden. I'd probably walk through too. Great job. New follower too. :)
ReplyDelete